Hell Of a Time!!

(Monday, October 24, 2005)

Don't know what am I doing right now! The studies seems to be f***** up. Life is full of trouble. My look out for some Management Institute is not going to end this time also and its quite certain. I am not giving it up. But something in my mind tells me unless I do something wonderful in this last few days for English I am gone. All my friends are better off than me. All... I am the only one screwing with my own future. I wanted to study... At the same time I am doing all sort of things which will not allow me to study also. Dunno what to do about those. I hope I had someone who could solve my problem. Someone whom I could make all these understand and work out a solution for me.But I am afraid those angels of fire are long bygone from my life. I am living an alien life here. Doing nothing to add value to my resume and doing nothing to make my big dreams true. God has only given me the power to imagine and dream and he didn't teach me how to make them true.I am very much frustrated right now. So I am righting this in my open blog. I know people will read this and probably laugh about it. A man must not get depressed. A man must not cry even with dry eyes.But what pain it is only a man understands when he stands on this vast desert alone, woonded but sees no place to recline or to die peacefully.I am not crying as I forgot how to. I am not dying as I don't know how to. I am only trying and trying.... as life taught me only one thing in this 23 years of my life: "Never Say Die"